Archive for April, 2012

Awakenings

Posted: April 30, 2012 in Rantings & Ravings
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My husband is an entertaining sleeper.  He has very real dreams that toy with his emotions, getting him to believe the impossible.  For example, one night at 3am (this is usually the time it happens), he goes flying out of bed.  He’s looking frantically out the windows in our bedroom, as if something is wrong.  I, being a very light sleeper, wake up and am freaking out.  Is there a prowler out there?  I ask him what’s wrong.  He grunts something and then leaves the house – that’s right!  He walks out the door.  I hear the jeep start up.  And then I hear the jeep drive away.  Now I’m worried.  After about 5 minutes or so, I hear the jeep pull back into the driveway.  The front door opens and I hear him come into the house.  He enters the bedroom, and I ask him what’s going on.  He mumbles, “I don’t want  to talk about it.”  He falls back into bed and after about an hour, I finally go back to sleep.  In the morning, I ask him again what happened.  He looks at me sheepishly and tells me the story.  Apparently, he was dreaming about work and when he woke up, he just knew that there were homeless people just down the hill waiting to eat.  He felt like he was late and that everyone was disappointed in him.  He said that as he drove down the hill, he knew it couldn’t be real, but he had to prove it to himself.  We had a good laugh…until it happened again.  (But that’s another story).

There’s a great movie called Awakenings starring Robin Williams and Robert Di Nero.  The movie tells the true story of neurologist Oliver Sack’s experience of waking up patients who had been in a catatonic state for years with doses of the drug L-Dopa.  Most of these patients hadn’t been awake for decades, and the movie tells the story of what it was like to wake up in a whole new era.  However, the “awakenings” didn’t last, and the people slowly returned to their catatonic state.  The doctor, who was a recluse, also had an awakening of sorts through the whole experience, and decided to step out of his box and live life to the fullest.  He realized that he had been existing most of his life in fear of life, even though he ironically brought a period of life back to his patients.

There are so many of us who are asleep.  There are so many of us who walk around this world in our catatonic state, longing for an awakening.  Trapped inside our insecurities, our fears, or the expectations of others or ourselves, we watch from a window inside our soul.  Hands pressed against the glass, we long to leave our prison we’ve created, but the risk seems too great, and normalcy screams the safer option.  And so we learn to be catatonic sleep-walkers.  We are great actors. We learn all the cues of how to look awake.  We learn what “awake” words and phrases sound like.  We learn all the “normal” ways of how society wants us to be authentic and we become that character.  All the while yearning to let our true self out to dance, play and change the world we were meant to change for such a time as this.

The ironic part is that as we play the role, the world is longing for sleepers to awake.  Enough with the games.  Enough with the politics.  Enough with the fears of social stigma.  And I am speaking from a small place of experience.  These past couple of years have been and continue to be an awakening for me. But it’s also a struggle because “sleeping” is so comfortable.  Blending in is safe…but it’s also boring. (But more of that in Part 2!)  Let us be who we were made to be for this moment in history!  Let us pull off the covers that try to hide the beauty that is our unique self and let us unite that uniqueness with the God of love and grace who will heal us and give us the freedom and ability to dance this beautiful dance we call life.

To wake up takes an alarm. Little alarms go off every day.  Have you seen or heard or felt some today?  They come in different ways:  a child asking you to play; a song moving you to tears or moving you to dance; the sunlight glistening through the spring-time trees; a baby’s tiny fingers with their firm grip; sitting by the bedside of a dying loved one; the peace of a silent moment; the stress of a too-busy schedule that screams inside you to stop and slow down; a phone call; an email; the tiny pull of a string that whispers at you to let go of that grudge you’ve been carrying so long; the anger at injustices that are allowed to happen around the world and the intense need to do your part to stop it; that inner call to repair that broken bridge with that friend; the disappointment that comes after watching too much tv and you still feel empty; and the list could go on.  Little alarms go off every day…let’s stop tuning them out.  Let’s listen to them.  We only have one life – and I believe we are here for such a time as this.  So let’s stop numbing our existence.  Let’s find the healing we need and let’s live wide open!  As the chorus from a great song puts it,

I want to laugh from the belly and cry from my soul

I want to sing out loud as far as my voice will go

I want to let go of every demon that cuts me like a knife

I want to drink every drop of this one sweet wild life!

Listen to the song by clicking here:  “One Sweet Wild Life”

(from Trent Yaconelli‘s song, One Sweet Wild Life from his CD Birdwings.  To hear more from Trent Yaconelli, visit his website at trentyaconelli.com)

Strange Fruit

Posted: April 22, 2012 in Ravings & Realizations
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I was at the park a few years ago with my father.  The benches were painted with creative designs and colors.  He saw a painting that reminded him of an old song entitled “Strange Fruit.”  He told me a little of the story behind the song and how this one simple song was such a powerful protest against what had been happening in the south years ago.  So I decided to do some research on this song and look it up for myself.  What I found was amazing and demonstrates the power of ripple effects.

“Strange Fruit’” started out as a poem written  by Abel Meeropol, a Jewish high-school teacher from the Bronx, about the lynching of two black men in the south.  He was appalled by what happened and expressed his rage and sadness in a poem.  He published under a pen name, Lewis Allan, which he had gotten from his two children who he had lost in infancy.  He tried to find someone who could put music to his poem, but finally decided to write his own music to it.

Abel Meeropol

But this man, Abel, was more than just a thoughtful poet.  He lived what he wrote about.  His life was a passionate display of justice, love and kindness to all humanity.  For example, he and his wife adopted Julius and Ethel Rosenberg’s two sons, Micheal and Robert, after their parents’ executions.  Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were American communists who, in 1953, were convicted and executed for apparently committing  espionage.  The conviction was based on an alleged conspiracy to commit espionage by apparently passing information about the atomic bomb to the Soviet Union.  They were the first Americans ever executed for espionage, and their execution was, and still is, controversial.  After their parent’s death, Micheal and Robert needed a home, especially with the hatred and hysteria surrounding their parent’s life and death.  So Abel Meeropol and his wife adopted them, and the boys took on their surname to protect their identity.

The song, “Strange Fruit”, became a plea for civil rights and its haunting tone and lyrics put emotion into the injustices that were being committed.  It became a song that motivated many people into action.  The people who made this song most popular were singers Billie Holiday and Josh White.  Billie Holiday was introduced to the song and made it a regular at live performances.  Billie Holiday approached her record company, Columbia, about getting it recorded, but they feared repercussions, especially from people in the south.  Finally, after a lot of controversy and people afraid to help her record it, she was able to get the recording finished, and it became one of her highest-selling records.

Billie Holiday

Some of the Honors this Song got were as follows:

  • 1999, Time magazine called it the song of the century.
  • 2002, the Library of Congress honored the song as one of 50 recordings chosen that year to be added to the National Recording Registry.
  • The Atlanta Journal-Constitution  listed the song as Number One on “100 Songs of the South”.
  • Bob Dillon cited “Strange Fruit” as an influence in the 2005 documentary No Direction Home.
  • Serbian rock musician, journalist and writer Dejan Cukic wrote about “Strange Fruit” as among 45 songs that changed the history of popular music in his book 45 obrtaja: Priče o pesmama.
  • 2010, the New Statesman listed it as one of the “Top 20 Political Songs”.

 

After researching the song’s history and hearing the recording of it, it’s astounding – all the pieces that went into play for this poem and song.  It was a great reminder to me that justice is waiting to be celebrated, and sometimes the best places to promote it are in what we naturally do well.  For it is in these places that it is easier to resonate with all our hearts and we feel an “amen” to what our inner soul knows is right.  Also, the story of Abel and his life of love, mercy and justice to others made his poem that much more powerful.  Because actions really do make our words legit.  And finally, sometimes what is most worth fighting for will scare people, especially those who’s identity is wrapped up in what other people think.  But what is most worth fighting for will always be worth the fight in the end.  And ultimately, the world is waiting for those who will have the courage to do the right thing – because it is then that it gives weaker ones the courage to stand up for the right thing, too.  May we keep fighting against apathy, injustice and hatred.  May we all realize that the truly strange thing in this world is to hate another human being.  We all are sacred.  We are all made of the same stuff – therefore, when I hate another person, I am also hating myself.  Let us keep fighting for Love, no matter the cost.

Here is Sonny White’s version of “Strange Fruit” sung by Nina Simone:

Making Headlines

Posted: April 18, 2012 in Realizations
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I was at work yesterday and entered into a closet to get some random item, when all of a sudden I noticed stacks and stacks of old magazines from years gone by.  Time Magazine, U.S. News and World Report from the 1950′s up to today.  National Geographic from 1919 to today, and old newspapers.

It was amazing to open up a magazine and just look back into the past and what occupied our lives.  What struck me was the fact that it was all the same news, just different players.  It was like the same tune of a song, with slightly different lyrics.  It was truly fascinating.

Here’s a phone advertisement from a 1959 magazine.  Ironically this picture was taken with my iPhone.

I like how the rotary phone is poetically sitting on a nice overlook

Here’s the cover for May 21, 1973 U.S. News and World Report:

Notice top news: politics, stock market, and war/poverty

And then my favorite magazine cover from yesterday’s find…notice how the headlines are basically hinged on the same topics as today:

Eerie how much the headlines are the same as today's...

It’s as if the only thing that has changed are the players on the stage.  We are still consumed with the stock market.  Politics is a hot topic of debate.  The environment is something we are discussing a lot, and of course the war or threat of war is always a news item.

It’s like they say, “history repeats itself.”  But then there are those who make choices to step outside the headlines box and do something to blaze a new trail.  Who knew, when they picked up this 1961 magazine, and debated about its topics and worried about its forecasts, that in a few years there would be history-makers who would make a choice to stand out and define their world.  People like Martin Luther King Jr, who would in a few years make his famous “I Have a Dream” speech; or 8 years later when we would land on the moon; or all those who would stood up for their rights and the rights of all humans. And many other history-making events and stories.  And then those who would fall in love and have children and bring more world-shakers onto this planet who would perhaps have the audacity to believe they could step outside the box and make the world a better place.  This is where we come onto the stage.

We all have a choice to what we will do with our time.  The headlines will always be consumed with the same old stuff.  It’s time we stopped letting the headlines define our reality, and we start to be a headline to our world.  We’re only here for so long.  So let’s rock this world.  Let’s not settle for the status quo.  Let’s let LOVE drive us to paint new headlines into the lives of every sacred being we encounter.  Let’s be history-makers.  Let’s let our lives be a song that will inspire others to dance, to sing at the top of their lungs, and roll down the windows – letting LOVE’s breath free us all from the squelching boredom and routine that is always trying to rob our passion, joy and authenticity!  Let’s stop letting our past define us.  Let’s stop letting the future handicap us in fear.  Let us all BE PRESENT.  Only then will we step outside of shrinking expectations and make new headlines!

Holy Communion

Posted: April 15, 2012 in Realizations
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It was the day we were leaving.  The muggy air hung heavy and our skin glistened with the sweat we had almost grown accustomed to.  We had just spent 2 weeks in Peru, living together, eating together, traveling together, walking rickety bridges together, drilling wells together, playing with children together, pulling teeth together…and just experiencing this new journey together.

The walk of faith - one of our rickety bridges that got flooded!

 

We had found out more about each other.  We had, at times, gotten on each other’s nerves.  But the common goal of being open and loving people through the vehicle of drilling wells, playing with children, or pulling teeth, had kept us united in our diversity.  We felt accomplished.  We felt satisfied.  And we felt connected – like a family.

At the end of every trip, we usually partake in a practice called “Communion.”  Communion comes from the tradition where Jesus, on the night before he died, had a final meal with His disciples.  At the meal, as they all talked and shared together, He took the bread that they were all getting ready to eat, thanked God for it, and then broke it into pieces and handed it out to His friends.  But as He broke it, He said this strange phrase:  ”Take this bread and eat it – this is my body which is broken for you…”  And I can imagine them confused and wondering what Jesus meant.  Then Jesus takes a cup of wine, and blessing it, says to His friends again, “this is my blood which is poured out for you as a sacrifice to forgive sins.  Drink this in remembrance of Me.”  And so this tradition, known as Communion, is what a lot of churches partake of.  (You can read about this tradition in Matthew 26:26-30 in the Bible)

In most churches, when they partake of Communion, it is a small wafer-type bread piece, almost smaller than a cracker.  And in some churches, for the Communion wine, it is either real wine, or grape juice, but it is a small sip from a tiny cup or a small sip from a cup that is shared.  And this service, known as Communion, is usually a symbol of taking Christ into the person, just like He said, “do this in remembrance of Me.”  And so at most Communion services, it is used as a symbol of forgiveness – taking in Christ’s “blood” to cleanse us from our sins, or partaking of His body to give us spiritual sustenance.

These practices of Communion are good reminders of what He did and still does do for us in our lives…

But what if Jesus actually literally meant what He said??

What if Jesus, when He said, “Do this in remembrance of Me” was talking about more than just eating a wafer or sipping a gulp of grape juice?  What if Jesus was saying, “Live this kind of lifestyle.  BE bread to someone, like I have been and am BREAD to you!  SACRIFICE your comfort, your selfishness, your lifestyle and pour it out for someone else.  BE a life-giving flood of love to others.  LIVE THIS IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME.”

And silly us – what if we are the ones who make it all hard and symbolic?  Did Jesus really mean for us to eat a tiny wafer and swallow a gulp of juice as a powerful reminder of His love and life?  Don’t get me wrong – these symbols can be powerful reminders to us of what He did and is doing in our lives.  However, we, as humans, are usually the ones who make things a lot more complicated then they were meant to be.  What if Jesus was talking about real life, and how we are to LIVE in a lifestyle of COMMUNION with ALL people, everywhere, because we are in COMMUNION with Him?

Now I’m not talking about a commune.  What I’m talking about is actually being the body of Christ and the blood of Christ to every person I come in contact with.  And in every miniscule detail of my life, I am then living a lifestyle of communion with Christ and with the world around me.  I become bread – whether that means listening to someone, or feeding someone, or connecting someone with an organization that can help them, etc.  I become the wine to others – whether that means forgiving others, or providing them with a safe place to just be, or to help quench their thirst, or to help carry their burdens and help them smile or laugh again.  I BE who God made me to be, in where ever I find myself to be.  And I do this because God did it for me.  I do this, I live this, I BE this because I am in COMMUNION with that God of LOVE.  And therefore I am in COMMUNION with every other sacred living being around me.  And it’s not something I fake – it’s something I am!

What if this is what it means to be in Holy Communion?  The wafer and juice are nice reminders, but what if Jesus was talking about something entirely more radical and real?  What would it look like if we lived this kind of love in every part of our lives?  What if we took on His challenge and lived a lifestyle of “Do this in remembrance of Me” in every situation we encountered.  What if we actually became LOVE with skin on?

So there we are sitting there, at our breakfast table, eating our final meal in Peru.  And all these thoughts are racing through my head.  I smile as I hear all our laughter and chit-chatting around the table.  It’s a beautiful moment.  Because in that moment, we were in Communion.  For the past 2 weeks we had been living Communion.  For the past 2 weeks we had been partaking in the lifestyle of love and selflessness and unity in the midst of diversity.  We had all had the common goal of helping others, which had then drawn us together in a tighter bond.  We had learned from our Peruvian brothers and sisters what a community looks like – how we all help each other because we all are lacking in one way or another, and perhaps the person next to me is holding the link to what I am in need of, and visa-versa.  They had shown us that we are stronger together than we are alone. We were experiencing Holy Communion.

And so, as we finished eating our meal, we all got our water bottles together and filled them with water.  Water had been the goal that connected us over this trip.  I explained to them that in this Communion Service there would be no bread, no wafer – because we had been experiencing the Bread for the past 2 weeks.  We had been living it, and partaking of the body day-in-and-day-out.  We had been living Communion.  But we were going to partake of a drink of water – water to symbolize life, connection with God and connection with others.  And after we drank as much as we wanted from our bottle, we would pour out the rest of our water on the ground, slowly, as a prayer, thinking of all the faces, names and new friends we had acquired in our time here in Peru.  As the water would pour into the ground, it was our prayer that God would continue to bless our new friends with life, sustenance, joy, and peace.  This was our last Communion Service in Peru.

As we packed up our bags and put away our tents, and later that day as we loaded into the bus for the last time, and finally into the plane to fly back home, it occurred to me:  perhaps we make the teachings of Jesus, and the teachings of LOVE much more complicated than they were meant to be.  Perhaps we miss out on the powerful concept of living a life of Communion because we are only looking at a wafer and a drop of grape juice.

The Wealth of Water

Posted: April 11, 2012 in Uncategorized
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The day was already sticky and hot, and it wasn’t even 9am yet.  We slathered on the sunscreen, mixing it on our already-sweaty arms and legs.  Today was the day of the first well-dig, and we were ready to get it on.  What followed in the coming days was a beautiful dance of digging, drilling, pumping and sealing.  But today would be our first water-well out of 5 that we would have the honor of bringing to families and neighborhoods.

As we huddled around the heavy-packed sod we were about to tear up, there was something mysterious and magical that hung in the air.  This element, water, is something that connects us all – to all life.  Water is something that is so basic, yet in some parts of the world so precious because it cannot be just turned on with a switch.  Many people are forced to labor and sacrifice time and energy to provide this very basic, life-giving source by carrying it for miles to their families or villages.  And here we were, standing on this holy ground that would soon become a source of life and thrival in a few hours.  The moment felt holy, because under our feet was the stuff that held the precious necessity that connects us all – H2O.

We gathered around for a moment and offered this hallowed ground to God, as well as our sweat, muscles and minds.  The humble honor of participating in such a gift was astounding.  After our pause, we jumped in and began to dig…and dig and dig.

It’s very interesting the steps that are involved in drilling a well by hand.  They are as follows:

- Dig the overflow “tank” – about 4 feet deep.

- Pat down the inner walls of the overflow tank – most of the dirt is clay-like and so it makes for a perfect natural tank

Carrying water from the river for the overflow tank

- Pour river or pond water (whatever is available close by)  into the overflow tank and fill it up, as well as a large trash-can-sized container with extra water.

- Start up the generator that pumps the river water into the drill.  (the drill consists of a drill-tip that you connect the other piping to, and then you connect the water pump to the piping, which then runs down through the piping and jets out through the drill tip.)

All the pieces in play for a well

- Connect all the drill pieces, and begin to drill the well, turning it by hand with two monkey wrenches.  This is a tough job and different participants in the well-drilling have to rotate every 10 minutes.

- As the water level may lower, the bucket-brigade continues to fill up the overflow tank.

- As the drill gets deeper, you add more pipe

- Keep adding pipe until you hit the fresh, clean water well in the earth.  (You can tell when you’ve hit the fresh water because of the minerals that will come out with the water.)

- Flush out the drill hole, and add the pvc pipe

Gabriel flushes out the new well

- Flush out the dirty pump water.

- Put on the top of the pump and WALA!  You have a fresh water well!

The first well we drilled at San Andreas village

The well we did inside this family's house

A family with their well all finished and the crew

This woman is also getting a new house

Two of the girls that got a well

It was pretty amazing to be able to drill by hand water from the earth, and to help provide that basic human need to our Peruvian brothers and sisters.  It was humbling for me to partake in the beauty of that labor.  I thought of my own experience, and how easy it is to get water, and how I don’t treat it with the sacredness it deserves.  You see, water unites all of life.  They say that 70% of the human body consists of water.  They also say that 77-78% of the human brain is water.  Blood is 55% Plasma, and plasma is about 90-92% water, which makes blood about 50% water.  Water unites us, just as air unites us…just as love, laughter, and life unites us.

Since getting back to the States and watching my flushing toilet; and seeing the miracle of my washing machine; and being able to draw a hot bubble bath with the turn of a spigot, or pour out a glass of clear water from my faucets that exist in several rooms in my house, I am humbled.  What makes me so blessed to have the luxury of this basic necessity of water literally at my fingertips?  Why doesn’t the whole world have this luxury?  We are all deserving of this blessing – because we are all partly made of water, and so water unites us.  But then once again, I stop and think:  most of us are unaware of the luxuries we possess.  We cannot fully understand it’s weight until we have experienced life without it…and so, who is truly more wealthy?  Those of us who have all these conveniences and grumble, complain and wrestle with feeling entitled and “needing” more; or those who have labored for the right to have water – who have carried it for miles and have shared it with their thirsty friends and family – and who finally get a well in their home or neighborhood and truly feel the luxury of the water that now comes forth with just a turn of the switch!  They celebrate every mouthful on their parched lips because they know the true meaning of the wealth of this basic, life-giving necessity!  May we all remember that we are treading on holy ground all the time, and the necessities of this life are what unite us…and this is what makes life and community and basic human rights truly holy.

Spring Resurrected

Posted: April 8, 2012 in Uncategorized
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(I wrote the first part of this poem during the winter – and have added to it now that spring is shyly tip-toeing in…  The story behind the first part of the poem is that I was sitting in my living room on a quiet day.  My soul was restless and I needed to pause and stop in the madness of my scheduled life.  So I was sitting there, looking out the window – thinking – processing…when I noticed one lone leaf, very tiny, still clinging to the naked branches of a tree.  This is what inspired the poem…)

Like a blank, waiting page – silent comfort.

Naked trees.  Grey sky.

One leaf: black, dead…yet she clings…alone.

Shriveled reluctance…inner strength; stubbornness.

Perhaps not knowing that the inevitable will come – that the inevitable is here.

Yet alone she clings

Through rain, sleet, freeze and wind.

She shutters and dances, yet grasps to life

Alone.

There’s a sort of comfort to empty quietness

Masks are broken.

Eyes gaze at nothing really – just relaxed, and waiting and BEING.

Waiting to be filled…but adoring the empty – as if it is a sanctuary in and of itself.

Solace of quiet loneliness.

Letting be what will be.  

Letting the winds rage, and the rain pound, and the winter darken the sky.

And still she clings…

Her defiance to the inevitable wind is astounding.

Her outer beauty gone, the inner strength screams

Of something extra ordinary within.

A part of me admires her

And a part of me pities her

Why not just give up the fight?

Release your hold – winter is coming – winter is here

But still she clings…

I look down for a moment, my own world spinning around me.

The wind of my schedules and expectations rip at my soul.

The darkened sky of deadlines to meet and roles to fill creep into my quiet.

Yet I pause, as if suspended in time.  The lonely afternoon sanctuary of my place by the window

Calms me and soothes my human fragile soul.

And as I raise my gaze out the window once more

She is gone.

A part of me looks harder, sad I missed her final moments

Of tenaciousness against the elements…

But she is gone

Finally letting go and allowing the wind to carry her away.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Two worlds collide

Hope peaks out of the shadows

Joy tiptoes out of her place of hiding

Like a child wanting to throw a surprise party

She puts her finger to her lips and whispers “Ready?!”

There’s a twinkle in the wind tonight

As the day just can’t go to bed quite yet…too much to miss out on!

Can you taste it? 

Renewal, as a promise of something beyond the darkness

Has begun to subtly paint her hues of green into our world.

Listen! Can you hear it?   The rumor running on the breeze tonight?

That the dead did not win.  That the grey could not hold out.

That the wind has stopped his scolding, and the rain ran out of tears.

That love, peace and laughter could not lay dormant any longer.

And the nakedness of shame has been covered with the grace of life.

Can you feel it?

The tenacious grip of hope has won.

And we are seeing this miracle with our own eyes!

Spring is resurrected.

A Different Kind of Poverty – Part 2

Posted: April 4, 2012 in Rantings & Ravings
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We put on our rubber boots and showered ourselves in deet.  We were gonna take a trek in the jungle surrounding our village, led by the village leader – our new friend, Walter.  It was the day before the well-drilling in the village.  So we packed some water and headed out, following our guide into the deep green of the Amazon rain forest.

What followed was 2 hours of some amazing sights, sounds and tastes.  Walter would stop along the way, look at what appeared to us as a random root or branch, and then explain through a translator what it was all about and how it could help anyone in the jungle and world.  We saw Cat’s Claw; 6 different kinds of fruits; a vine that naturally holds water; and many different animals and bugs and plants.

Walking into the jungle

Drinking fresh, clear water out of a wild vine - too cool!

Cat's Claw - a natural cancer-fighting agent

A plant that contains natural dye used for face paints and clothing dye

Our group in the middle of our trek - after eating some freshly picked jungle fruits.

Once again I was struck with the wealth of this experience and this man and his village.  I was reminded with how much I trust in the supermarket and other retailers to provide for my needs…and even though it offers me convenience and I can go down and buy (assuming I have the money) anything I want or “need”, perhaps we have lost the power and awe of the sacrifice involved in hunting and gathering for our survival.   And here was this man who could just walk into the rain forest and identify every branch, leaf, root, fruit, etc. and know exactly what it was for and how it could best help anyone.  All the “hunting” and “gathering” I know how to do involves a 15-minute drive down to Safeway, filling up my shopping cart, then getting annoyed cuz I have to wait in line to pay for my “catch”, and then driving home.  Sheesh!

What society calls “wealth” and “success” can many times be deceiving, and someone with all the conveniences and “stuff” in the world can still find themselves in the greatest poverty of all.  As Mother Teresa put it:

  ”Loneliness and feeling unwanted is the greatest poverty of all.”

 And when we look at most advertisements, they try to promise an answer to the emptiness we struggle with.  If we could only buy this product, then we would finally be fulfilled and happy.  Just check out the following images taken from advertisements and look for the underlying longing of the human race portrayed:

Can a diamond really bring about true connection?

Wait: is this referring to the baby or the car??

Really? Budweiser can provide me with these kinds of buddies?

And it's important for everyone to know this because...?

Is this better than transforming my real life?

So Dell can give me Beautiful, but she doesn't look too happy...

Haha - and I have to spend more money. Again.

Compared to???

I'm sorry - this is just too funny - what are they promising me here?

(Notice the fine print and the reference to "smart" women)

These images are proof that we all long for something deeper, and the advertisement specialists are trying to tap into that longing and get our hopes up that maybe this product will help deliver a morsel of what we ache for.  Whether it be connection, or to be seen as beautiful, or to be regarded as smart, or to please people around us and prove to them our significance and value…  Yet so many times we can find ourselves stuck in a poverty of debt, or shallow living, or loneliness caused from having to protect all our brand new stuff.  Or we find ourselves trapped in the cycle of needing to buy more and more as the products become old and the “high” of a new item wears off, and so we find ourselves shopping, trying to feed that inner addiction and longing.  But what if we already have what we’re looking for?  Wealth is truly available for every single person on this planet – but it may mean laying down a plank or two of our impoverished walls of greed so that we can partake in the riches of  love and community and grace.  It may mean listening to the underlying longing of each advertisement, and then answering that longing with the real deal:  To stop chasing mirages and realize that maybe the answer to complete happiness and fulfillment has already been given to us by God.  That “simple” things are truly profound.  The paradox is that we can lose that inner peace, happiness and love when we begin to believe the lie that we must sell ourselves in order to capture the things which we already contain within us.  To identify this truth and be free from the false promises of advertisements, and to live purely and happily and freely with no attachment to “stuff”, this is what it means to be truly wealthy!

A Different Kind of Poverty – Interlude

Posted: April 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
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My soul feels restless today.  We’ve been back from Peru now for 4 days, yet it feels longer.  We got back and hit the ground running – returning to work, catching up on paying bills, checking emails, doing laundry, going grocery shopping…life as usual.  I finally have a day off – first one in over 2 weeks – and I feel restless.

Dreamt last night about Peru – I could hear the jungle sounds in my sleep, and woke up thinking I would be inside my tent – only to find me inside my comfortable bed, in my comfortable house, with the clock ticking and crickets singing outside.  And it was weird – I felt a tiny bit of disappointment. I should feel grateful and happy to be home – and I do – but I also feel restless, and this restlessness is deep inside my soul.  And it’s hard to put a finger on exactly what it is…but I shall attempt.

It’s as if the two worlds have collided, which is to be understood, and I am in the middle, holding one in one hand, and the other in the other hand.  I am the link, and I am feeling the tension of both drawing at me, questioning my identity and value, whispering at me – challenging me with the question of who am I in light of both worlds?  Like the tension that arises when a storm suddenly cascades upon the reality of a sunny day, I stand in the middle of this tension.

A storm coming on the Amazon while we were in Peru

This tension all started the moment we got back, but in little ways:  finishing my grading, jumping right back into work, interacting on Facebook and email with friends, playing Angry Birds, doing laundry, prepping for work.  All the little “normal things” that are the day-to-day routines of “normal life”, but it all happened so fast – as if two alternate universes collided in a matter of hours, and the normalcy of both at first seemed ok, but the more they both existed at the same time, it began to rip a hole in the universe of my soul.  The chasm is widening and calling out to me, haunting me with questions such as:

Who are you and what will you do with this experience?

What world do you belong to?

How will you become this new reality of both worlds – how will you make room for the collision to exist?

How will this enhance the journey you are on?

How will you be true to yourself?

You feel you need to change? No need to change – let it go!

These questions surprise me – I travel a lot… I haven’t felt this restlessness in a long time.  It doesn’t happen every time I travel.  Why now?  Why this time around?  Or maybe I do feel it every time?  Maybe it does call out to me but I drawn it out in the ways I have been attempting to this time: playing silly games such as Angry Birds, exercising, checking Facebook every hour, cleaning, working, planning, listening to music or catching up on TV…and the list could go on.  Yet with feeding myself this dose of activity since getting back, I’ve become more and more restless, and with it, more and more unhappy – thus widening the gap between the world I left 2 weeks ago, and the world I’ve returned to.

After living simply with spending 2 weeks in a tent, listening to the sound of the jungle at night, laughing with and loving on children who have nothing, drilling wells for people who have no water and had to haul it literally for miles, and being cut off from email and tv and Facebook…and then suddenly plunging right back into this world of activity – it makes perfect sense that I feel this culture shock on a soul level.

So what to do?  How do I process this “culture shock?”  A side of me feels silly, like it’s stupid that I feel this way – “C’mon Krystalynn, You’re a professional.  You do this all the time!  Are you really that weak?? Why are you listening to your soul?  You’re thinking way too hard about this!  Maybe you’re just emotional and tired.  Let it go!  You had 2 weeks, now you’re back.  You deserve this life here and now. ”  It’s the cynic that lives in my head…Identifying this cynic feels liberating.  And so, my way of giving my inner cynic the finger?  I will listen to my soul.  I will let my soul feel the tension of both worlds colliding.  I will provide myself with space and hush and safety to process this beautiful glimpse of awakening in my soul.  I choose to let the kingdom make itself manifest within me – and I will stop fighting it.  As the Switchfoot song puts it, this is a Beautiful Letdown.

So how to make both worlds connect?  I’m gonna go process this question now – I will give my soul permission to feel and to question and to mourn…and I feel relief and peace with the honesty I am showing myself and I’m excited for the outcome.  One thing is for sure – I feel like I am unmasking the poverty of my materialism and unveiling the ingredients of the wealth of what it means to live kingdom moments that liberate the soul.

Here’s the song “Beautiful Letdown” by Switchfoot: